A Most Horrid Dream

Dreams, Ponderings October 8th, 2007

On Saturday night I had probably the most vivid, realistic, and horrible dream I have ever had in my life.

I was holidaying somewhere on the bank of a river with my beautiful girlfriend Ele (pictured here). Ele We’d parked the car right up on the waters edge. I was still in the car and she was approaching the waters edge. I noticed an alligator (it was definatley an alligator, not a crocodile) right where she was heading and I flicked a towel at it (?) and screamed at her to jump in the car. The alligator launched out of the water but she scrambled into the car and we were safe.

But then the sand underneath the front wheels started giving way and the car slipped into the water and started to sink. I climbed into the back seat and I said “ok on three we’ll jump through the back window, one…two…three” – blam I jumped out through the back window and landed on the sand.

But then I realised that Ele hadn’t come with me. I looked back at the car as it sunk below the water’s surface, and I started to panic; I thought “I should dive into the water and find her” but then there was hesitation “It’s alligator infested!” and then all of a sudden it was too late. I ran and told a life guard what had happened and then the dream seemed to fast forward to me sitting in the life guard tower with my head in my hands waiting for any news on the search. This part of the dream stretched out forever. The torment was immense – I kept thinking “I should have grabbed her when we jumped out, I should have gone back in to get her”. I was feeling hope, worry, and anxiousness. But as the hours dragged by these feelings were replaced with guilt, remorse, despair, the most gut wrenching grief and the unnerving realisation that I was now alone in this life.

Then I was sobbing into someones arms, telling them I knew she was dead, that there was no way that they would find her alive. And as I was doing so the search party returned, and they had something with them… I ran out to look, it was Ele’s torn up dead body, all white and dirty with sticks and muck through her hair – and that was when I woke up.

I re-lived the dream in that semi-concious moment just after waking up as I was taking a leak. As I returned to bed the whole thing overwhelmed me and I bawled my eyes out. It was so realistic, and I could still feel those strong emotions that I had felt in the life guard tower deep in my stomach. In those initial few minutes I felt a sense of grief and loss that I don’t think I have experienced before.

I then had a most surreal morning being comforted and consoled by the very person I was mourning. It was a really strange feeling, I felt as if she were dead, and yet here she was. It was almost the opposite of Lucid Dreaming (where you realise you are asleep and take control of the dream) because I woke up and thought that my dream was reality and this was something else. It truly was a most horrible dream, and it showed me a few things:

  1. Never park the car right on the waters edge, you never know when Alligators will strike (heh), or the sand will give out.
  2. Always attempt to save your loved one, make sure they get out or at least go back for them. The torment of not doing so is far too greater burden to bear.

Peace out.

2 Responses to “A Most Horrid Dream”

  1. Ivan Matic Says:

    An interesting dream!

    As with many dreams you can look into it as deep as you want to. I’m not going to try to provide any insightful comments here so don’t worry. A dreams a dream, and I think that it is definitely a good thing to learn from them.

    Just wanted to see if you are going to do any more blogging!

    Oh and I’ll try make it to your house warming on Saturday.


  2. Abby Says:

    whoa man, dreams are far out, right? My dear Matty has lots of intense dreams, but I just forget them the minute I wake up. I’ll definitely be wary of alligator infested places and will always go back for my Matty. Much love xo