Dictation Software: Software for Dictators

This is definitely in the realms of dark humour, but we’ll sell AI based software to dictators to help them govern with an iron fist. You feed a bunch of data in and it can tell you which minority groups need to be suppressed, where military presence is needed to quash uprisings, and who in your internal cabinet needs to disappear.

You could probably sell it to criminal overlords too.

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Kids TV exercise park

Kids these days. They don’t appreciate the need to work to get things. You plug a TV in and you can just turn it on. You turn the tap on, water comes out. It’s all free.

Kids also love TV. They can’t get enough. And so I’d like to propose that we develop a set of small exercise bikes that can be connected to a TV. If the kids want to watch TV, they can bloody power the thing.

The idea here is to give them a feeling for what it means to work for your reward. They want to watch TV? Well they have to put the effort in. And then if one of them is slacking off, the others will get cranky. They’ll have to be a team, or work out their differences, or nobody gets to watch TV.

As a side benefit they’ll get fit, and they won’t be able to sit there and watch TV for hours and hours because they’ll get too tired.

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Fart Silencer

Are you embarrassed by your flatulence? The fart silencer can help!

There are several products in our range:

  • Sound deadening foam you sit between your butt cheeks which stops them from flopping together (which is what is making that brrrrrt noise). The noise is trapped in the open cell foam, and the smell seeps out over time instead of being jettisoned directly into the atmosphere.
  • A phone app that is always listening. It’s in your pocket, it hears a ripper fart, and it just takes the sound, replays it, and fades it into a song so that it sounds like it’s the start of your ring tone.

Call now!

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A guided VR spiritual experience.

This is inspired by an article about (terminally ill?) people getting put in an MRI machine after taking LSD (in scientific conditions/dosages) and listening to guided meditation.

Essentially they a bunch of them listed this study as one of the most profound experiences of their life.

While trying to find this article I found mention of underground lsd guides.

My idea is to essentially create these VR experiences such that someone at home can take a guided, deeply spiritual trip. Perhaps the surreal nature of VR can invoke the same mechanics as LSD. Or at least make it so that lower doses can be used.

Like how much of it can you placebo? Lets say you play a game, and it’s a first person adventure game, and then someone in the game gives you a mushroom, and you eat it. The game starts to take on that surreal visual quality. Is that enough to sort of trick your brain into thinking you’re tripping? Perhaps if you’ve tripped before it can induce that state again.

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Social Networking Site for Grey Nomads

Essentially this is built around trip planning, and who of your ol’ pals is going to be where. You meet some people in a caravan park in Bowen, they friend you, and now when they plan their next trip it can use their location and/or plans to help you meet up.

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CornFlucks

Like Corn Flakes, but intentionally u shaped such that when you’re pouring milk onto your cereal it redirects the milk up, out, and onto the table next to your bowl. Pretty much coming up with the perfect shape that will give the highest probability of making sure as little milk makes it into your bowl as possible.

Sell as a novelty 🙂

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Segway-esque Walking Frame

I was at a doctors surgery and noticed the bulk of the walking frame of one of the elderly patrons, and the difficulty navigating around with it. Can we make a single pole with a single wheel at the bottom, that does it’s darndest to stay upright when you lean on it. Perhaps it has to be two wheels, similar to a segway, but the point is that we’re trying to use technology to make the walking frame less bulky.

In saying this, there are two additional benefits of walking frames: One, the elderly can sitdown anywhere they like. Two, they can sit down in a waiting room and put their Sudoku on the seat of the frame.

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Case Note Outsourcing

This is a service where people who have to work with their hands such as dentists or physio’s can just do a regular consultation, and someone is listening (in a 3rd world country) and taking notes. At the end of the consultation, the physio just checks the notes, and rates the note-taker. Perhaps it goes one step further and it’s a remote desktop session where someone is actually driving the practice management software to fill in the necessary fields.

Why would anyone buy this product? If you own a practice and your physio is not spending 10 minutes after each consultation writing up case notes, they can see more patients, generate more revenue.

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Personal Mental Trainer

How many times have you heard that positivity is like a muscle that you need to train? “Say to yourself in the mirror XYZ every morning for 21 days” etc. Doing it is not so easy, and it’s the same problem as physical training, sometimes you just need someone to help you build that muscle or reach that goal. So my idea is to create a team of PMT’s (Personal Trainers of Mental Health).

So that’s what this is. A personal trainer for your brain. They’re not a clinical psychologist, they’re just someone who is bright and enthusiastic and can help you to go through the steps each morning or at some time after work to help you build your positive attitude, to break you out of your downward cycle.

This has to be cheap, like $30 per hour cheap, because it’s not psychology (even though it is), it’s an accessible and practical application of psychology to train the muscle in the brain. A set of exercises facilitated by someone with a strong personality, “tell me 3 things you love about yourself!”. Yes you can do them on your own, same as you can go to the gym on your own, but most people, especially those in a slump, need something or someone to help.

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Phallet, the phone built into a wallet.

Phones are taking over wallets. You can use your phone to pay for stuff, use rewards cards etc. But my driver’s license is not on my phone and the government goes to great lengths to make them difficult to copy.

So instead, let’s make a flip phone that’s also a wallet. Essentially wallet form, but with a screen and speaker in one side, mic in the other.

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