Category Archives: Funny

Face Masks for Facial Recognition

Posted on August 17, 2021 by gemmell

Phone does­n’t unlock because you’re wear­ing a mask? You need one of my masks that have your face print­ed on the out­side. Or a see through one. 

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Mumometer

Posted on July 14, 2021 by gemmell

This is like a stepome­ter but for chil­dren, and lis­tens to how many times they say “Mum” in a day. “Muum, muu­um, where’s mum?”. They get a quote of 100 mum’s and it buzzes when they hit 50, 75, 80, … Con­tin­ue read­ing →

Posted in Funny, Kids, Whacko | 1 Comment

Sucky Spoon

Posted on May 4, 2021 by gemmell

My 6 year old daugh­ter’s first inven­tion. It’s a spoon that’s also a straw. So you can eat your cere­al and drink the milk with one uten­sil. So proud right now. 

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Simon’s Spit

Posted on January 27, 2021 by gemmell

Based on this thing I read about peo­ple being able to bet­ter digest car­bo­hy­drates because they have spe­cial enzymes in their spit that pre-digest it, I intro­duce Simons Spit. I believe I have such an enzyme because I’ve nev­er had … Con­tin­ue read­ing →

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CarBed — Killer of Cities

Posted on July 15, 2020 by gemmell

Imag­ine you go to bed at night with your wife as per nor­mal, but dur­ing the night your robot­ic bed wakes up, fer­ry’s you to the car and loads you in (think like a cof­fin into a hearse). The car … Con­tin­ue read­ing →

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Investrepreneur

Posted on June 9, 2020 by gemmell

So this is sort of like a cross between an angel investor & patre­on, and mod­elled close­ly on the “bene­fac­tor” mod­el of yes­ter­year. Essen­tial­ly you pitch your­self on this site, and peo­ple “invest” in you. The investor then owns a … Con­tin­ue read­ing →

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Slap! The dance sensation.

Posted on March 13, 2020 by gemmell

Tap Danc­ing, but in flip-flops (thongs, jan­dles), for men. You get the tap from the toe and heel and the slap from the thong. It’s awe­some. Com­petes with dance/exercise classes.

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Carbotta

Posted on February 24, 2020 by gemmell

Think­ing on hail dam­age, I thought it’d be great to have a robot that would lay out pro­tec­tive cov­ers on cars when you lock the car. How­ev­er gen­er­al­is­ing a bit, a drone/bot that did a num­ber of func­tions for your … Con­tin­ue read­ing →

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Make me sound smarter

Posted on June 4, 2019 by gemmell

AI that takes what­ev­er you’ve writ­ten and upgrades the words used to make you sound smarter. Uses a slid­ing scale for the intel­li­gence lev­el so you can bash out some essay using your dumb-ass lan­guage and it comes through and … Con­tin­ue read­ing →

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Dictation Software: Software for Dictators

Posted on May 24, 2019 by gemmell

This is def­i­nite­ly in the realms of dark humour, but we’ll sell AI based soft­ware to dic­ta­tors to help them gov­ern with an iron fist. You feed a bunch of data in and it can tell you which minor­i­ty groups … Con­tin­ue read­ing →

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